Expert take: A lot of guys have two categories of women they’re dating: the women they just want to have sex with and the women they’re interested in having long-term relationships with, Kerner says.
In this situation, Kate might have been giving too much too soon.
It’s also easy to build up a fantasy of what someone is like when you’re long distance.
“The weekend didn’t live up to your expectations—but what really happened is that this guy didn’t live up to the expectations that you had created over the prior few months,” says Lissa Coffey, relationship expert and author of Her take: “I used a dating site a few years ago and was linked up with someone that didn't have a photo on his profile.
After he arrived at my place, he got a phone call saying his grandmother was being sent to the emergency room. When I went onto Facebook within a few days to see how his family was doing, I noticed he changed my status to ‘limited profile,’ so I couldn’t access everything on his page.
After that, all communication from him died.” -Allison G., 26Expert take: Social media can create transparency and a false sense of familiarity, Kerner says.
Don’t assume someone is going to be committed unless you’ve talked about it.These miles tend to happen around the three-month point, so use them to see how strong your relationship is, Coffey suggests.If one of you is ready to meet the parents or take a short trip together and the other isn’t, that’s a good indication that you’re not on the same page and this might not work out, she says.“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.