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    Nothing can make me dance with abandon like a smoke-filled club strung out on CRUNK.

    And when me and my girls would go and shut the club down, routinely, I’d be the only chick that hadn’t been approached, danced with, hit on.

    They see girls like me as sisters, as homegirls, but not as love options, because they don’t find big girls sexy.

    They usually find us I know there is this myth in Black America that brothers like their sisters thick, thick like a luscious milkshake, that “brings all the boys to the yard,” as it were.

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    She wanted to keep going, and kept trying to get me back into it.

    I like my curves, I like ass, I like my legs, I like my boobs (which I only have in abundance, when I’m tipping the scales), and I like my face.

    I’ve interviewed thousands of men in my career as a dating expert and journalist, and I’ve noticed that on every rundown of what it is that men are looking for in a woman, weight inevitably sneaks high on the list, usually in the form of “She works out” or “She stays fit” or “She is concerned about her weight and personal appearance” — i.e., she’s not fat.

    as women is difficult, because it can make us feel powerless and/or less-than-feminist.

    As un-feminist as I’m sure it is, and as much my Sagittarian self wants to say f**k the world and embrace my life of singleness in a blaze of principled feminist big girl glory, the #truestory is that I’m seriously trying to figure out how I can get my J. I also know being thinner won’t guarantee me a date, but I’m willing to bet it’ll improve my chances.

    Feel free to weigh in in the comments on your experiences dating as a big girl, your thoughts on the sometimes un-feminist things we do for love, or anything else you wanna say.

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